Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Cruise

Imagine this: A hot bubble bath, a laptop sitting atop the toilet seat playing last week’s episode of “Bones”, a mug of hot tea, and a bowl of frozen grapes. That’s right, this was my evening yesterday. I needed a good soak in the tub, and had never thought of watching a show on the laptop before! It was fabulous, even if it was my little cramped apartment tub.

I did alright yesterday, but not great –

Breakfast: terrible oats. I was craving chocolate, and thought I’d add some cocoa and honey to my oats. Ended up tasting like retarded coco wheats.

Lunch: 2 bowls of Zuppa Toscana soup from Olive Garden (it was free refills… not a good idea), a small salad, 2 breadsticks (shame on me!)

Dinner: Feta/spinach chicken sausage tossed with whole wheat pasta, olive oil, steamed spinach, and feta cheese. Wasn’t crazy about all the feta.

Snacks – boiled egg, grapefruit

Yeah, back down to 223 lbs today. I just wanna see 222 SO BAD!!

Today I was in the office at 5:30 AM. I’m exhausted, and I’m sure my lack of sleep isn’t helping the weight loss. We’ll see how today goes; I have to leave at 1:30 for a follow up appointment on my TB test.

Today’s funny quote of the day:

Amy: Can you go bring your porcupine inside? It’s going to rain.
Husband: You mean my cactus?
Amy: Yeah.

I want to start sharing a good memory of my life before I was heavy on each post, so that when I have a hard day, I have to reflect on a reason that I’m doing this.

Memory of the day: The family cruise right before my 17th birthday. We went for my grandma and grandpa’s 50th anniversary. My mom, sister, and I tanned for a month beforehand, and went shopping for new bathing suits. I was in the best shape of my life, although I still usually felt fat compared to my sister. I was a size 10 (oooooh I want to be a size 10 again!). My body was always pretty… voluptuous. While my upper half was a size or two smaller, my hips and backside were more generous. Anyway, enough of the back story. The actual memory is of my sister and I swimming out to a rock about 20 feet out on the beach in the Bahamas. We climbed up on this huge rock, and modeled for my mom… in our bikinis! Mom snapped pictures while we did everything under the sun. I struck pose after pose, and felt like a real supermodel. I saw those pictures last week and was amazed at how great I looked; sure, part of it was my weight. But I think that more so it’s my confidence that is shining through. There is a huge smile on my face, and an “I don’t care what my tummy looks like, I’m gonna rock the body I’ve got” attitude. I was able to enjoy the sun, the breeze, and the salty air. Most of all, I was able to feel freedom from my prison I’ve always kept myself in. I think I went that whole day without thinking about how I looked. My hair was braided in corn rows, I ran around in flip flops and a coverup, and I had no makeup on. I had sunglasses and a shell necklace. I felt more beautiful than I ever had before.

*Amy tips her glass* Here’s to feeling that feeling again!!!

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