No, I'm not getting a divorce; I am officially dumping my selfish self.
I wallow. Too much. There are too many wonderful, amazing things in this world for me to waste time and life energy on sulking. Yes, of course I'm still going to hurt; very much so. But wallowing has NEVER made me actually feel HAPPIER. Ever. So I'm making the decision to be positive; to see the good things in life. To embrace the parts of my husband that I love. To see the beauty in the world around me.
Tonight I have a hot date with my mother-in-law. She is honestly the sweetest woman in the entire world. I love her to death. She is just in pieces over her son's issues right now; I'm hoping that rather than wallowing together, we'll find strength in each other and be able to build each other up. I'm going to be honest with her, but respect Husband's privacy and reputation. I will tell her only what she needs to know. I will not share anything that would hurt him.
And I will eat Chinese food.
I'm a bit worried about that; today I'm back down to 217.5... still 1.5 lbs over the lowest number, but I'm getting there. Despite my own lack of self control. In the past 2 days I've eaten pumpkin pie, TONS of mashed potatoes and gravy, 3 sugar free puddings, lots of crackers and cheese, lots of stuffing. And by no work of my own, a miracle has caused me to still lose weight. I don't want to take that for granted!
Breakfast: whole wheat english muffin with serving of sliced ham and laughing cow, made into a SAMMICH. And yogurt.
lunch: leftover saurkraut/bacon/potato pie. Wierd, I know. But Husband's favorite.
Dinner: Chinese. Hopefully, veggie-filled with light sauce.
Snacks: A little leftover oatmeal from yesterday, an apple. Maybe a couple munchies at Mom's.
Right before my "female" time I tend to drop weight. I think that's what's happening now; I don't want to waste it and only lose regained pounds, so we'll see if I can make the most of it!