This year lacked that "Christmas" feeling. Most of it has to do with the state of my marital relationship. (It's been over a week, like I said, so I can mention it again!). It was very hard to get in the Christmas spirit knowing that my husband no longer believes in Christ. It was also hard because he still does not love me (understandably, a couple weeks has not changed that) and we had several fights. But tonight was a wonderful night, and God has provided yet another bit of hope for my broken self. Wanna know the story?
I had a dinner date with my best friend from childhood, Kristin. She picked me up and we drove to the restaurant. While we were waiting, my other closest friend, Keyla, walked in the door.
Why is this unusual, you might ask?
Because, dear friends, Keyla lives in Delaware. I am in Michigan. She and her husband came to visit family for Christmas, but that family lives almost 2 hours away. Keyla is the friend who is married to a youth pastor. She has been a great comfort to me in the past month or two as I've been struggling with my relationships with Husband and God. She's shared godly wisdom, which I have eaten up. But it was hard knowing that she was many states away. She moved about 5 months ago. But today, she drove to my city and suprised me at dinner. My friends are the best. And Kristin is so good at keeping secrets! They've been secretly plotting this for a MONTH!
The hopeful part of the night? Besides feeling that I had some serious warriors praying for us, Keyla also gave me a gift. When I unwrapped it, I found the book "Love Dare", which is what the new movie "Fireproof" is based on. The book is a challenge for married people who are seriously struggling in their marriage. It gives you one thing to do every day for 40 days. These are hard things, and it gives scripture passages, as well as a section each day explaining the concept behind that day's dare (pride, jealousy, selfishness, not cherishing, etc).
This book may be the foundation I need to rebuild my marriage. I already read ahead, and I'm both excited, as well as humbled. I am seeing a lot of areas that I have failed as a wife. But this is my chance to truly love my husband unconditionally. This new possibility is the best Christmas gift God could have given me.
an excerpt from tomorrow, day 1:
"Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time than they deserve to correct it."